


the highway won't hold you (but i will)

by pinksense



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implications of Drowning - nothing serious but still worth mentioning, Language, M/M, Smoking, Unrequited Love, beomjun paid me to make beomjun content so they don’t have to, onesided soogyu - Freeform, side tyunning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29156766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinksense/pseuds/pinksense
Summary: Beomgyu has spent most of his childhood and teenage years giving love and not exactly getting it back. So little did he expect that love would eventually return to him in the form of roads untraveled, gas stations, antique musems and greasy drive-through meals shared in the front seat of one boxy Wrangler.or: The ot5 road trip fic littered with shenanigans, poop jokes, and eye-opening car games
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin, Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Hwang Hyunjin, Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 184
Collections: TOMORROW X TOGETHER BIGBANG: 2020





	the highway won't hold you (but i will)

**Author's Note:**

> it's been a while since i wrote a proper fic so i'm very anxious to share this with everyone. it's been a long, grueling few months of grinding, ~~procrastinating~~ and cramming to reach this point and i'm so glad it's finally here!!!! thank you mods for facilitating this event. huge thanks to **A** for sprinting with me many times and for giving me some much needed extra push. i could not have gotten anything done otherwise lmao. thank you to **C** as well for reading it over and validating the beomjunification of it and doing some mild beta'ing. also! my artist, who was super patient and cool with me despite the lapse in communication (you can find the artwork [here](https://twitter.com/txtbigbang/status/1364019443655917570)). you're all very swell!!!  
> 
> 
> couple of notes:  
>  \- if this fic is geographically or time accurate in any way, then i am actually just a bottle of lotion  
>  \- please assume they are speaking in a mix of english and korean throughout the fic! they are korean-american in this particular setting  
>  \- yes the title is in fact from highway don't care by taylor swift and co.  
>  \- i'm not a beomjunist hahah imagine if i was...how embarrassing  
>  \- enjoy!!! 

Day 1: A healthy dose of intolerance is the most essential ingredient to any successful trip

“You’re kidding.” 

“I’m really not,” Yeonjun’s keys jangle distractingly when he moves to hoist up the large Coleman filled with ice and beer. He shoots Beomgyu a lofty glare as if silently shaming him for not helping with loading up the Jeep; it has no such effect.

“Four whole days on the road?” Beomgyu whines, crossing his arms over his chest indignantly. “My ass is already cramping at the thought.”

“Relax, we’re doing stop-overs every four or so hours and Taehyun’s already worked on a schedule so each of us who can drive can take turns.” 

“And by each of us, you mean, you and I,” Beomgyu solemnly says, recalling a particularly tired conversation he once had with Soobin when the latter decided to skip his driving test because he thought his driving instructor hated him and wanted him to fail. Convincing him otherwise had only led to tears of frustration on Beomgyu’s end, Soobin made sure of it. So that was the end of that discussion.

Yeonjun slams the trunk door shut with a resounding thud. There’s a film of sweat glistening on his forehead, a clear testament to the prickling summer currently plaguing Los Angeles. Well that and maybe the hard labor Beomgyu had subjected him to. Still, he’s itching to reach out and wipe it with something, anything. 

“Might I remind you, that this was your idea?” 

“No! No no. I said, we should all go on the trip with Soobin to Chicago.”

Yeonjun makes a gesture with his hand, like he’s angrily serving an invisible dish. “Exactly! Your idea!”

“When I said ‘go on the trip’, driving to the point of ass-blisters and sleeping shotgun in your Jeep weren’t exactly what I had in mind. I meant, book plane tickets, maybe a decent hotel.”

Yeonjun pulls his chin back blowing a raspberry. “Where’s the fun in that? Come on, haven’t you ever watched a good road trip movie and thought, hey, wouldn’t that be fun?”

“I watched Zombieland. Didn’t look too fun.”

“Not a road trip movie.” 

Right at that moment, Kai and Taehyun parade over to them respectively. Kai is wearing snorkeling goggles over his sunglasses while humming—unmistakably—to Yellow Submarine by The Beatles. Sometimes Beomgyu thinks Kai shouldn’t have rights. 

“We’re ready to save Soobin-hyung’s relationship!” Kai howls, an amused Taehyun straight-up giggling behind him. 

“Speaking of Soobin, where is the little shit?” Yeonjun asks haughtily, despite ‘little’ being the least effective word to describe the whole six foot one of Soobin.

“He was looking for something. I think he described it as the ‘proof of his love’ for Hyunjin or something like that. He was garbling a lot. Think you should go check on him,” Taehyun suggests to Beomgyu.

It’s no surprise that their friends expect him by Soobin’s side whenever something’s up. 

He likes to think what he has with Soobin is so much more than simple friendship. It’s sharing spoons and “borrowing” shirts without permission. It’s late night drives and heartfelt conversations without saying a single word. It’s surpassing even the lowest of ethical standards that he can make never ending jokes about the color of his shit and Soobin doesn’t even bat an eye. It’s being aware of almost every momentous occasion in Soobin’s life like it’s a history book only he can peruse. It makes sense since he might as well have co-written it. As far as friendships went, theirs has stretched milestones down to every little detail. From the first time Beomgyu got into a fight on the playground, to the stain on the shirt Soobin wore to class just the day before summer break. 

(From the first time Beomgyu kissed a boy, to the last time Soobin kissed his boyfriend.)

Beomgyu has every lilt in his voice and every twitch of his lips memorized. Because it’s Soobin, who never hides skeletons in his closet because he prefers them under his bed.

He makes his way back into the dorm building, crossing paths with several students milling about with their luggages wheeling behind them. Today marks the curtain call of the semester, where everyone applauds and no one is sad because the stage has already been set for the symphony of summer.

He almost crashes into a hasty Felix upon reaching the room he shared with Soobin. “Sorry! He’s still in there. Have a good summer, bro!” Felix brusquely says, whizzing past him without hearing a response.

“Hey,” Beomgyu peers into the room. “I heard you los—” He stops midway when he notices Soobin standing in front of his desk with his head down, gaze fixed on a piece of paper. He’d found it. 

“I found it,” Soobin’s lower lip curls downwards. In his hand is a tiny piece of paper tattered at the edges, a movie ticket he’d kept from his first date with Hyunjin a couple of years back. Something tells Beomgyu he had never lost it.

“You’re stalling.” 

“What if he hates me, Gyu? What if he doesn’t want me back?” Soobin finally meets his gaze, frown still intact. 

Personally Beomgyu thinks it’s impossible to hate Soobin. He has always been an amalgamation of all the good things Beomgyu has come to know about the world. He isn’t delusional of course. He’s well aware that Soobin is as flawed as the next person, and is far from perfect, but in customary Soobin fashion, he makes up for it in earnest and genuineness. And that’s not something Beomgyu can say for a lot of people, including himself.

He wants to say yes to both, let’s just stay here and forget about going on a cross country road trip to win back your ex-boyfriend. But he can’t, not when he knows that’s the last thing Soobin needs or wants to hear. 

“It was a stupid misunderstanding. he’s always had it bad for you. Everyone knows that. He’s crazy about you. Yeji said so,” Beomgyu assures him. “There’s really no accounting for taste,” he adds for good measure, earning him a tepid glare. 

“Ass,” Soobin snipes before letting out a resigned huff. “I’m so stupid.”

“Soobin-ah, you’re not allowed to call yourself stupid. Only I get to do that. Oh and definitely Yeonjun. Taehyun maybe behind your back.” 

“That’s Soobin-hyung to you,” Soobin complains, even when using honorifics hasn’t been an issue since high school. He actually used to care about using them; his parents were first generation immigrants and were still pretty grounded on Korean principles—but being friends with someone as thick-headed as Beomgyu for several years had inevitably pushed him to resignation.

“I’ve referred to you as ‘dick face’ more times than I can count and practically called you Stupid with the intensity of three people just now but Soobin-ah is where you draw the line?”

Soobin punches him on the arm in retaliation and it hurts just enough to warrant a tiny yelp. 

“There. You’re unbelievable.” 

“We’re in America, _hyung_.”

They enter a pregnant silence for a minute before Beomgyu speaks up again, finger mindlessly tracing the edge of the desk. He doesn’t look at Soobin when he asks, “You love him a lot, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Soobin answers in less than a heartbeat. Beomgyu swallows.

“Then you have to see this through. No matter what the outcome may be or how scary it is.”

Soobin doesn’t grace him with a response. Instead he presses his lips together, retrieves his wallet from his back pocket and stuffs the folded piece of paper inside. 

“Now can we go? Before I change my mind about riding into the sunset and all that jazz. Yeonjun’s words.” 

Soobin smiles, the small but pure kind. “Yeah, okay.”

“Okay.”

“Thanks, Gyu-yah.”

“Quit it.” 

Yeonjun has Kai in a chokehold by the time he and Soobin make it to the jeep. Something about vandalizing Yeonjun’s number on one of the Rec Center bleachers that resulted in multiple horny texts of varying degrees from prolific strangers. Beomgyu makes a mental note to congratulate Kai on the job well done.

“You kept complaining about being single so I thought I could help!” Kai swears in that usual high-pitched dolphin screech that never fails to make Beomgyu laugh. “I was only trying to help!” Knowing the younger boy, Beomgyu can confidently say he is being genuine despite his questionable method.

Yeonjun catches Beomgyu with a scowl. “And that’s funny, why?” His voice lowers threateningly, slowly releasing Kai from his grip so he can lock on to his new target. It only makes Beomgyu laugh even harder, even when he wasn’t laughing at Yeonjun in the first place.

“It wasn’t,” he immediately nurses his face back to a more neutral expression. Yeonjun fastens his arms back around Kai’s neck.

“His heart was in the right place,” Soobin swoops in to the rescue, pulling Kai towards him and away from Yeonjun’s loose grip.

“Well his head is going to be in all the wrong places after I’m done with him,” Yeonjun says. “No, seriously some people can get really nasty,” he pulls out his phone to show them one of the offending texts.

“I think it’s poetic,” Beomgyu comments after. Soobin snickers.

“It’s harassment is what it is,” Yeonjun declares with a crinkle of his nose. 

“Just block them, hyung,” Taehyun helpfully suggests, not bothering to look up from his For You page. He shares a little giggle with Kai and promptly taps out of the conversation. 

“I don’t think he knows how. We have to excuse him. He was born in the nineties,” Beomgyu quips and shares a low-five with Taehyun. It’s a premeditated attack set for the sheer purpose of witnessing Yeonjun’s wrath. He can’t help that he’s a daredevil of sorts.

“Listen here douche fucker—”

Beomgyu has long lost the ability to feel bad about teasing Yeonjun, so he laughs, loud and annoying as the latter would so fondly describe. And this time no one, not even Soobin comes to his aid when the oldest starts chasing him around the campus parking lot screaming bloody murder.

Riling Yeonjun up is one of his and a number of people’s favorite pastimes. He can’t quite put his finger on it—but it might be something about the way his nose flares up when he threatens to end someone’s life. There’s never any real bite to his words, of course, nor do his raging bull impressions instill any real fear. He is just really good at being the angry, affronted hyung of their friend group and Beomgyu loves having someone so easy to torment. 

(Which isn’t saying Yeonjun hasn’t had his fair share of being a nuisance. Beomgyu has an ear infection in his medical records from a one sided water gun fight that can vouch for him.)

“Choi Beomgyu, I will end you and scatter your ashes all over Koreatown!”

Beomgyu finds that Yeonjun’s brand new Wrangler is surprisingly spacious, even comfortable; a stark contrast from how it looks on the outside. He can stretch his legs to a comfortable length without having to slide his seat back and potentially crush someone’s knees. It’s kind of incredible. But he and Soobin had given Yeonjun absolute hell for having this particularly hideous environmental hazard as his choice of a vehicle, so he’s never going to say out loud that this car, in all its boxy glory, is actually kind of sexy.

He’d also managed to coax Bluetooth control out of Yeonjun after promising to buy him all his drive-through cravings. It’s a fair trade, especially since none of the idiots he’s riding with has anything that resembles good taste in music. If he was going to be sitting in a car for twenty-something hours, he’s going to need good music in his system, lest he go stir crazy and fling himself off a freeway. 

They have just passed a skimpy road a few kilometers away from their first stop, which is an old corner drugstore slash diner that sells delectable ice cream concoctions and floats that always made Beomgyu’s stomach swirl every time he indulged. 

To avoid any mishaps, they decided on a system. It’s a system wherein each of them can have one (1) pick of a stop that’s mandatory for the trip and everyone else has to honor that pick with no complaints. This particular place was Kai’s chosen stop, which Beomgyu thinks was a poor choice considering how close it is to home. Not to mention they’ve been here a few times already. He’s got an album in his phone brimming with unattractive pictures of Yeonjun choking on chocolate sprinkles as remembrance. 

“Wait! Does this count as my stop?” Asks Kai mid-scoop off of his Hot Fudge Sundae. 

“Yes it does,” Soobin responds with a derisive smirk. Beomgyu mirrors the expression and turns to face the youngest.

“Suck it, loser. You’ve just used up your one pick,” he sneers, exchanging a celebratory spoon clank with Soobin. 

Not even seconds later though, Soobin is already recanting, reaching over to smooth out Kai’s bangs to reassure him that he’s willing to give him another pick. The traitor. 

“Unbelievable,” Beomgyu grumbles just to seem spiteful. He’s not really upset, even when Kai laughs triumphantly in his face. It’s not even two seconds until he’s laughing too. Most of his friendships comprise a plethora of banter and insults, and by now all of them are used to handling whatever it is thrown at them. It’s their love language. At least, it’s Beomgyu’s. 

“So if we leave in thirty minutes, we would reach the first rest stop before lunch. That’s ninety miles from here, which will take us approximately an hour and twelve minutes going about seventy five miles per hour,” Taehyun informs them with an air of academia. Beomgyu is just thankful he’d spared them an entire lecture on speed and velocity today and chose to speak not as the Physics Major he is but in a way that the plebeians sitting before him can understand. 

“Oh God, okay, that’s not so bad. How far is the one after that?” Beomgyu asks.

Taehyun hums. “Almost three hours. So make sure you empty your bladders beforehand,” his eyes dart over to Kai. “You’re going to pay for that sundae, idiot.” 

“Don’t worry, I’m really good at tolerating my lactose.” 

“I swear if I get as much as a tiny whiff of bodily gas in my car, I will murder you,” says Yeonjun sorely. 

Kai offers a less than reassuring, menacing laugh in return. “No promises.” 

“If that happens I will personally toss him out of the car,” says Soobin in that pastel voice of his that can be genuinely unnerving. 

“I’ll help,” Taehyun offers. 

“Alright, cool. I’m going to go for a smoke,” Yeonjun announces, rapping the cigarette carton in his hand until a single stick comes sliding out. “You coming, Gyu?” 

Soobin’s arm falls from its previous place over Beomgyu’s shoulder naturally, as if it wasn’t there to begin with, while laughing at something Taehyun had said. Beomgyu was willing to stay right here otherwise, but he supposes there’s no harm in taking up Yeonjun’s invitation now. 

They walk to the parking lot where Yeonjun situates himself by the hood of his obnoxious firecracker red Jeep. He pops a cigarette in his mouth and takes out the Zippo he’d stolen from his dad’s home office during his last visit to San Jose. The only reason Beomgyu knows this is because Yeonjun had brought him there and made him act as the lookout. 

Beomgyu wouldn't say it out loud because he knows the older boy will gobble his words up and enable him even further, but he'd always thought Yeonjun looked unfairly cool with a cigarette between his lips. 

"Want one?" Yeonjun asks, a tiny smirk tugging at his lips. He knows Beomgyu doesn't smoke, nor will he ever try it. But he asks this every time anyway because he's obnoxious like that, and maybe because it’s too obvious how attracted Beomgyu is to the idea of smoking on a superficial level and might want to sport the look himself. Which, admittedly, isn’t entirely off-kilter. 

"No, I'd like to keep living past forty, thanks," Beomgyu half-jokes, half-reprimands. He shakes his head.

“Lots of folks who smoke live past forty, I’ll have you know.”

“With major lung problems, I presume?” 

"You're here with me. Either way, you're fucked. Secondhand smoking is just as bad, if not worse," Yeonjun shrugs. 

A lot of times Beomgyu questions why he even joins Yeonjun on his smoke breaks despite not partaking in the activity. Then he remembers it’s because Yeonjun easily and genuinely makes good company when they’re not at each other’s throats (and even then Beomgyu finds he’s enjoying himself). Plus he’d always thought the idea of smoking alone seemed super lonely. 

He doesn't grace Yeonjun with a reply and instead looks ahead at the sight of the other three behind the glass wall of the diner, the dark outline framing them like a television. Soobin laughs with his entire body and crushes Taehyun against the wall. And Beomgyu feels exceedingly fond.

“Beomgyu-yah,” Yeonjun calls.

“Yeah?” Beomgyu snaps back.

"It's very big of you, you know?" Yeonjun says, taking a long drag off his cigarette. Beomgyu mindlessly watches his slender fingers move. He looks almost dreamy surrounded by smoke, what with his pastel pink hair and hazy eyes, but the pungent smell wastes no time latching onto Beomgyu's lungs. He coughs, confused about the older male’s words. “Sorry,” Yeonjun quickly apologizes and makes an effort of swatting the smoke away.

"Big of me? What do you mean? Are you making fun of my height? I grew like half an inch in the last few months alone. We’re practically the same height."

“That’s not what I meant, idiot,” Yeonjun sends him an incredulous gape. "I mean, big of you to come to this trip to save the relationship of the guy you're in love with," he states, and Beomgyu is taken slightly aback by the bluntness of it.

He scoffs. "You're talking out of your ass, hyung."

Yeonjun takes another long drag and gives him a knowing look, one that has 'You can't hide from me' written all over it.

"You know what I mean," Yeonjun puffs out a large wisp of smoke, this time facing the other direction so it doesn't engulf Beomgyu like it did before. "It was your idea to have Soobin follow Hyunjin in the first place; when he asked you to come you couldn’t say no. Now you’re going on a twenty-eight hour road trip despite the fact that you hate traveling in long periods. Especially on the road. You're going out of your way to help him get back together with his boyfriend. And anyone with eyes and half a brain can tell why. You’re such a martyr."

He didn’t have to read Beomgyu out loud like that. 

At this rate, there was no point in denying it. Perhaps he'd been hiding his feelings for Soobin in plain sight all these years. Which sounds pathetic, but Yeonjun isn't really looking at him like he's pathetic. He looks amused, more than anything. 

"So what if I am?" He says, a tiny bite in his tone. Yeonjun laughs and deflects it.

"Nothing. I do think it's commendable. It just means you love him more than you love yourself."

"It just means I'm not a selfish person."

"That too."

In retrospect, what Yeonjun said was pretty darn accurate.

It was about two weeks before summer break when Hyunjin broke up with Soobin over a stupid misunderstanding. How stupid? That’s perhaps a story for another time. Beomgyu wanted so desperately to help, but before he could think of anything, Hyunjin had finished his term a week earlier and had already flown to Chicago to stay with his parents for the summer, and there was nothing either of them could do. 

At least, not immediately.

For the rest of the week Beomgyu had to sit through nights of tragic historical Korean romance films and alternating Adele and Sam Smith albums on loop in order to console his best friend before realizing he wasn’t really being a good best friend if he wasn’t exhausting every possible solution he could think of. Hyunjin had his reasons. And even though Soobin was genuine about his feelings for him, never cheated on him, and never said anything even remotely bad about him—he wasn’t very good at explaining things, especially when he was backed into a corner. He choked and tripped on his words until Hyunjin had gone out the door.

So Beomgyu suggested following him all the way to Chicago to make amends. Because what’s a better way to prove Soobin’s love than traveling cross-country just to see him? 

"Is that why you asked me to come with you here? So you could pry into my tragic unrequited feelings for my best friend?" Beomgyu snarls.

“Please, you love coming with me during my smoke breaks. I just wanted to see how you were doing. It can't be easy," Yeonjun says, the subtle incandescent glow at the tip of his cigarette flickering from each huff. 

Finding out what love is and sooner realizing you can’t have it, can’t be easy.

Beomgyu was in the first grade when he saw a pretty girl in line for snacks in class and decided that he loved her. All his friends loved her too, or at least, loved someone like her. So he decided he loved her and her pigtails, her bangs and the way she frowned at him every time he said hi in the morning. He decided he loved the sound of her voice when she spoke with the teacher or even when she told him off. He decided he loved her all through the end of second grade.

It was during third grade when Beomgyu realized that love wasn’t something you decide at first glance. 

It was when he met and got to know Soobin that he learned actual love (as true a love as a ten-year-old could comprehend) was completely unprecedented. Soobin was shy, short and soft spoken. He didn't have many friends, and mostly kept to himself. He was everything Beomgyu wasn't. And he was everything Beomgyu's love wasn't. He didn't have long pigtails to tug whenever Beomgyu wanted attention. He didn't have colorful pens Beomgyu could borrow just for the hell of it, and he didn't frown when Beomgyu said hi. He only smiled and thanked Beomgyu for being by his side. He wasn't the love Beomgyu had decided on, but he was love nonetheless.

The gravity of love would then fluctuate with each passing year, until it was something else, something greater altogether, yet somehow it was still Soobin—Soobin who was almost always enthralled by someone else. 

None of it has been easy, but Beomgyu is still standing so there’s that.

"I'm okay. It’s not that bad anymore,” Beomgyu shrugs, not entirely believing his own words. “I'm going to be a third year student next year. And you've already graduated. We're all growing up and moving on."

Yeonjun looks at him for a moment like he’s trying to see through him, but eventually relents. "Alright I’ll take your word for it," he tosses his cigarette to the ground and flattens it with the sole of his Dr. Martens boot. Beomgyu frowns and tells him to pick it up, to which he actually does with a tiny candy wrapper he had resting in his back pocket. “Speaking of growing up and moving on, that’ll be the last cigarette you’ll ever see me smoke.”

Beomgyu isn’t able to mask how pleased he is with the statement. “That’s actually great. Good for you,” he smiles, feeling happy and proud. There might be a tiny morsel of regret in his mind about not getting to see Yeonjun with a cigarette anymore, but he decides an image as pretty as that could remain etched in his brain for a long time.

“Yeah. Haven’t you noticed? I haven’t been smoking that much anymore.”

“I guess I didn’t realize,” he says. Except he had noticed. He just didn’t want to say anything to not jinx Yeonjun’s progress. To be fair, the guy hasn’t had the vice for longer than a few months. He’d only recently picked it up when he found out his parents were getting a divorce, and no one, not even Taehyun’s blunt warnings about his health, could tell him how to cope.

“I never liked it,” Yeonjun shrugs, and Beomgyu doesn’t ask why he had kept doing it anyway.

After that, they make their way back inside to pick up the others to begin, quite possibly, the ride of their lives.

Lunch is a drive-through at a Chick-fil-A some hours into the trip. Beomgyu had felt a little audacious and decided to order the big wrap instead of his usual grilled chicken. Sure enough, he should never be allowed to take risks when it comes to food. He ended up giving half of it to Yeonjun who, thankfully, has made it his life’s mission to finish every meal Beomgyu has ever failed to consume. 

“I told you, you wouldn’t like the wrap,” says Yeonjun haughtily.

“How would you even know if _I_ didn’t know?” Beomgyu dabs a napkin at the corner of his lips. 

“I just _know_ what you like. We eat together all the time.” 

“Oh.”

Beomgyu never thought about it before, but he’s probably eaten with Yeonjun more times than he has with Soobin in the last couple of years. To Soobin’s credit though, he usually did try to include Beomgyu whenever he ate with Hyunjin. It’s just that most of the time it didn’t feel too right to be around the two of them so Beomgyu has always turned to Yeonjun instinctively. 

“You can have the rest of the nuggets,” Yeonjun pushes the small container towards him. This is how Beomgyu knows Yeonjun _actually_ cares. Because the nuggets were always his favorite. 

“It’s really not that special you guys,” says Beomgyu. 

“Dude, that’s literally the Grand Canyon,” Yeonjun points out. 

“You’re only saying that because you’ve been here at least fifteen thousand times,” Soobin shoves him by the elbow, seemingly taking offense in Beomgyu’s attempts at slandering his chosen stop.

“My dad used to drive the family here all the time when I was a kid until I got so sick of it. Like, yeah, it’s a bunch of giant cliffs and rocks. Big deal,” Beomgyu tells no one in particular when Soobin promptly leaves to find a spot to take selfies. 

“Nah,” Yeonjun shakes his head. “Nah, I don’t believe it,” and then makes to grab Beomgyu by the arm and pulls him away from the pack of tourists to a more spacious area on the U-shaped walkway. The massive congregation of misshapen land stretches before them, just as brown and drab as Beomgyu remembers them. There’s a strip of a river slightly visible from where they’re standing. 

“Yeonjun-”

“Just look at how the sunset bathes everything in that gorgeous, orange glow. The light refracts on the crooked edges just perfectly. It’s like looking at a painting and slowly getting sucked in. Absolutely breathtaking,” Yeonjun very dramatically declares while gesturing towards the horizon. 

“Are you waxing poetic about the Grand Canyon?” 

“Perhaps. But listen. I’ve been here more than a few times too. You know how my dad’s a geologist so it’s kind of his thing?” Yeonjun says. “Never stops being gorgeous though,” a pause. “To think you of all people would know about never growing tired of admiring something no matter how many times you’ve spent looking at them,” he punctuates with a teasing grin. 

Beomgyu raises an eyebrow. “What are you trying to say Daniel?”

“Nothing at all,” he shrugs, much to Beomgyu’s annoyance, and proceeds to cup his hands around his mouth. “Choi Beomgyu sucks!” He yells, vociferous and disruptive. His voice echoes into the vast open in faint staccatos. Beomgyu would be impressed if it wasn’t done at his expense. A slew of tourists turn their heads in varying degrees of annoyance and amusement. 

“Yah! What did you just d-”

“Try it!” Yeonjun suggests through his laughter.

Beomgyu has noticed this before, but Yeonjun laughs like he’s choking. He coughs out every open syllable and looks very much like a little child. Witnessing it tickles Beomgyu’s skin contagiously until he’s laughing too. Finally he decides on what to yell into the void.

Beomgyu bellows at the top of his lungs.

“Oh my god. You are a fucking menace!” Yeonjun’s one hand abruptly clasps onto his mouth while his other arm roughly pulls him in by the waist. Beomgyu had only shouted the first five digits of Yeonjun’s cell phone number for the whole world to hear. 

Beomgyu’s stomach hurts from laughing. “I wasn’t going to say all of it!” He always knew memorizing Yeonjun’s number would come in handy one day. 

Yeonjun has him in a vice grip, grumbling profanities into his ear as he hoists Beomgyu up very barely in the air and then back down like a pathetic attempt at a wrestling move. And then for a weird moment, after letting him go, he sizes Beomgyu up and then tears his gaze away just as quickly. 

Beomgyu is jolted when a tour guide yells at them for roughhousing on the glass ledge. Taehyun, who is standing right next to them, is very much pretending he doesn’t know them. 

The two of them share sheepish smiles until all the attention finally melts away from them. Yeonjun nudges him, takes a few steps back, and poises himself against the railing. Beomgyu scrunches his nose but doesn’t need to be told to take out his phone and take Yeonjun’s picture. He _is_ Yeonjun’s anointed photographer after all. 

The sun is only a few minutes shy of setting completely. Yeonjun’s all-black ensemble perfectly contradicts the deep auburn natural filter while the famed river valley serves as the perfect backdrop. 

Now that Beomgyu really looks at it, the Grand Canyon looks a little more like a mix of chestnut and cinnamon rather than the dull shades of brown he’s used to. 

Day 1 Checklist 

✓ The group engaged in a heated debate over how many holes a straw has. Yeonjun had zero input, to absolutely no one's surprise.

✓ Yeonjun called Beomgyu out on his unrequited feelings for his best friend. A low blow if Beomgyu’s ever received one. 

✓ Hueningkai has absolutely used up his only stop (who’s going to tell him?)

✓ Cheezits is a good alternative to a proper dinner, experts say. (The experts in question: reddit users)

✓ Jeeps are very uncomfortable sleeping quarters. 

✓ Lastly, Beomgyu has newfound appreciation for the Grand Canyon (and possibly, the silly way in which Yeonjun laughs?)

Where they are: Somewhere in Arizona

Hours spent driving: Approximately 7 hours

Casualties: Yeonjun’s carefully styled hair and Taehyun’s patience for Beomgyu’s lack of trivia knowledge. 

  
  


Day 2 : Car games are synonymous with mind games and the lake is no longer the only thing you swim in

The road ahead dances (quite literally) in a wave to the beat of the searing sun. It must be at least a hundred degrees outside this Jeep right now. Beomgyu’s head is threatening to spin at the mere sight of it. 

“You okay?” Yeonjun inquires next to him. His head is very slightly tilted over to face Beomgyu but his eyes never leave the road. Beomgyu briefly wonders if he had just been thinking out loud for Yeonjun to raise his concern. 

“I’m fine,” he assures him. “Think I’ll get some Meclizine when we stop over,” he wishes he had thought of it sooner, but he didn’t know he was the type to get carsick. 

“Make that two,” Taehyun butts in, sporting a pale face and even paler lips. He wasn’t the type to succumb to any motion or vehicular sickness either if Beomgyu’s memory serves him but today might just be an off-day for both of them. “We should probably get something for Softserve over here too,” he juts a thumb over at Kai who is clutching at his stomach with a pained expression. “You shouldn’t have gone in that Seven-Eleven, Hueningie.” 

“But unlimited self-service!” Kai whines.

Yeonjun’s head very briefly swings over his shoulder with a look of utter mortification. “Kai Kamal Huening, I swear to Lucifer.” 

“N-no. Not _Lucifer_! I’m okay, I swear!” Kai nods and clearly forces a smile. “Let’s play a game, you guys!”

Soobin, who’d been asleep, stirs beside Kai. Beomgyu’s hand reaches over to pat him on the knee gently, silently encouraging him to sleep some more. He knows the older male barely slept a wink the night before so he definitely needed to catch up on some Zs.

“What game?” Yeonjun asks Kai, appearing to be over the murderous feelings he had towards the youngest.

“I Spy? Twenty questions?” Kai suggests lamely.

“I have a question,” Taehyun speaks, lowering his voice to an ominous whisper. “What are we going to do if this all goes to shit?” 

Taehyun, ever the voice of reason, chooses this moment to ask this particular burning question. Come to think of it, Beomgyu hasn’t dwelled on the possibility that this plan would result in a cataclysmic end. Perhaps it’s because he knows Soobin is already doing that on his own, so his job was to keep his best friend from crashing and burning. 

“We’d have enjoyed this trip either way, wouldn’t we?” Yeonjun says firmly. He exchanges glances with Beomgyu, who feels the need to nod and agree. 

“Of course,” he says, looking at Soobin who now appears to be wide awake, staring thoughtfully at the back of Yeonjun’s headrest. Beomgyu chews on his lips worriedly.

“I have a question!” Yeonjun pipes up, giddily shaking his butt on his seat. “For Soobinie!”

Soobin props up, leaning forward a bit. “Oh, we’re answering questions?”

Yeonjun grins mischievously. “Yes. Would you rather eat poop—” he’s interrupted by Beomgyu’s exaggerated gagging noises. “For ten billion dollars, or live as you normally would?” 

“Isn’t the answer obvious? I’d eat the poop,” says Soobin, much too fast and sounding much too certain. “The amount of poop wasn’t specified, so I’d eat the smallest possible amount. If I get sick, I don’t have to worry because I’d be a billionaire,” he smugly explains.

Yeonjun offers an impressed nod. “Very pragmatic. Touché.” 

Having known him for a long time though, Beomgyu isn’t surprised he would choose the disgusting but considerably practical option. 

Soobin is looking very pleased with himself. It’s a good sign, Beomgyu thinks. He’s distracted. Going to have Yeonjun to thank for that. 

“Hey Taehyunie!” Yeonjun calls out. The younger male looks up from picking at his nails. “If you had to choose between making out with anyone in this car and getting violently and painfully eaten by a shark, what would you pick? And who would you choose to make out with?” 

Taehyun looks as if he’d just heard the most preposterous question ever uttered. Yeonjun is grinning like a maniac, probably very proud of himself for that one. Beomgyu, despite himself, is actually interested to hear Taehyun’s answer.

“I would make out with the shark,” Taehyun answers flatly. Kai lets out a loud single-syllable laugh next to him and slaps his knee. Soon they’re both laughing like bratty kids who’d just outwitted an adult. 

Beomgyu snickers then mistakenly catches Taehyun’s gaze from the rearview mirror. After an unsettling few seconds, he calls out Beomgyu’s name. 

"Same question, minus the shark bit. Who would you make out with in this car if you had to?”

Beomgyu swallows, unable to answer right away. The anticipation from the other boys envelops him in a warm flush. Suddenly it feels like the heat from outside had managed to seep through the windows. 

This is when Beomgyu starts to regret skipping Taehyun’s favorite Shawn Mendes song on Spotify just a few minutes prior.

It’s more than likely that Taehyun knows exactly who among the four of them Beomgyu wants to kiss on the mouth, but he isn’t about to give him the satisfaction of being right.

So, in a mild panic, he answers. “Yeonjun.” 

After that it’s silent, awkwardly so, up until Yeonjun coughs out a laugh and pumps his fist victoriously. “Nice B.G!” 

Beomgyu’s ears feel like they’re about to melt off his head from how embarrassed he is, but Yeonjun’s cursory response brings forth a small sense of relief. He also sees Taehyun relax in his seat, looking satisfied with his answer even though he probably wasn’t expecting it. Beomgyu tries his darndest to avoid Soobin’s gaze, at least until he’s composed himself completely. 

He hasn’t even securely clutched his bearings yet when Kai suddenly claps his hands like an enthused seal and exclaims. “I have a question for Yeonjun-hyung!” 

“This better be good,” Yeonjun clicks his tongue.

"Okay. Who would you pick to date among the four of us if you had to?"

Yeonjun makes a face and feigns a deep yawn. “Lame. That’s easy. I'd pick Beomgyu, of course," he says, much too quick for Beomgyu's comfort. He doesn’t have that usual haughty smile when his eyes gloss over Beomgyu either. He just looks like he’s stating a fact. 

But Beomgyu shakes off any weird feeling because again it’s just a game and Yeonjun was obviously just returning the favor when he’d said his name earlier. 

He looks over his shoulder at Soobin who’s giving him a thoughtful look. 

He doesn't say anything and just moves to high-five Yeonjun to seem as casual as possible. He does so, and for a split second their fingers linger and touch for much longer than necessary. 

Beomgyu settles back against his seat and doesn't speak until they reach the next rest stop.

"I'm buying toilet paper, just in case," Kai announces.

"Just in case what?" Yeonjun asks, enraged.

"Just in case he takes a shit in your brand new Jeep," Taehyun whispers impishly behind Yeonjun.

"I'm just kidding!" Kai yells, and Beomgyu laughs, because everything is funny when you're not paying attention and you have a big rock sitting inside your skull. For some odd reason he hasn't stopped thinking about the tiny moment he shared with Yeonjun in the car. 

"Are you okay?" Soobin asks in Korean and nudges him by the elbow.

He hums, randomly reaching for a pack of gum and tossing it into his mini basket. Soobin offers him a pitiful look when he sees there's already three packs of gum in there, and not even different flavors.

"Are you sure? That's a lot of gum, Gyu."

"I like gum. To think you'd know that about me," he manages to joke. Soobin just nods.

"If you're sure."

"Hey," Beomgyu calls out, desperately diverting the topic away from him. "How are you feeling now? About what we're doing?"

Soobin takes a few seconds to answer. "I'm okay. Nervous. But I'm not in a hurry. And we did talk about treating this as a vacation so I’m trying not to think about seeing him until I have to. Anyway, it’s been a long time since I went on a vacation with my best friend," he smiles, his dimples marking his cheeks in the most glorious way as he reaches over to pat Beomgyu’s shoulder. 

"That’s- good. Me too," Beomgyu sighs, and then turns to face the candy shelf. "Hey, I’m only going to say this once but you’re actually kind of swell and I want you to be happy. Don’t fuck it up, Soobin-hyung,” he adds the -hyung for good measure. The way they’re standing in the candy aisle makes him feel unusually saccharine. 

Soobin's smile only widens. "I’ll take it. But you didn't need to tell me. I know everything about you, Choi Beomgyu," Soobin beams with a knowing glint in his eyes that makes Beomgyu a little nervous. “And thank you for the vote of confidence.”

Just in time, Yeonjun appears from the next aisle carrying two packs of the same gum Beomgyu has in his mini basket plus two large bags of Doritos, something Beomgyu had been craving for but somehow forgot to pick up himself. 

"I'm all set. You guys ready?" Yeonjun is weirdly only looking at Soobin when he asks, but Beomgyu decides it’s not a big deal and mentally scolds himself for even noticing. 

“We’re good,” Soobin replies.

Taehyun and Kai respond in unison, carrying their own mini baskets of snacks.

"I bought some fruits for us," Kai announces in sing-song.

"Wah! You got chocolate-covered strawberries?" Soobin says excitedly, peering into the youngest’s basket. 

When they get back into the jeep, Beomgyu feels things slowly but surely go back to normal. This time Beomgyu is the one behind the wheel and Yeonjun is the one controlling the music. Kai is singing outrageously loud and intentionally out of pitch to every track that Beomgyu honestly considers turning off the music altogether, or murder.

"Alright, what's our next stop going to be?" Yeonjun asks.

Taehyun sits up straight and holds his phone up to show Yeonjun. "Here's an article about the best places to visit en route from California to Illinois. "We can go swimming or visit a couple of museums."

"Swimming it is," Kai says excitedly without even considering the latter option.

"I don’t feel like going swimming," Soobin whines. He has always had an aversion to being in the water. It actually used to be so bad that Beomgyu had to physically drag him into a swimming pool just so he had a chicken fight partner at their first high school pool party. He did learn to like it eventually, but he still tried to avoid it whenever he could.

"You're literally above six feet tall,” Taehyun states amusedly.

"Ah it's just. I hate getting wet. Plus, water is evil. It’s completely unpredictable. It gets in your ears and your nose. Next thing you know, you’ve lost thirty-percent of your hearing capacity. Also I hate getting pruney fingers."

"So...no swimming?" Yeonjun says tentatively. Everyone else makes sounds of disapproval.

"If you all want to do it so bad then I won’t get in your way," Soobin crosses his arms over his chest, resigned. Beomgyu wanted to side with him, but really, he wasn't about to pass up a chance to take a dip in some of the magnificent lakes their route has to offer. It's summer, and summer should be spent as intended. And besides, knowing Soobin, there’s a huge chance he isn’t going to stay by the sidelines once he sees everyone else having a good time in the water anyway. 

Kai triumphantly pumps his fist in the air. 

“Whose turn is it to pick where we’re going next?” Beomgyu asks. 

“Kai used up his turn already back at the milkshake place,” Taehyun informs them.

“Hey! I thought we all agreed that one didn’t count?” Kai questions. 

“Sorry buddy, we lied,” Taehyun tells him, feigning remorse.

Everyone proceeds to talk about the possible locations they could visit and all enjoy. Even Soobin who wasn’t too keen on going swimming had decided to join in on scouting lakes and public resorts on the way. 

Beomgyu lets the excitement wash over him until he’s already forgotten whatever it was that made him feel strange earlier.

Taehyun decides the lake is his chosen stop. 

Beomgyu takes a moment to savor the view when they arrive. The water is so unbelievably clear, reflecting the sky like the perfect mirror with tiny specks of glitter. 

Hueningkai and Taehyun hardly wait to strip down to their swim trunks and hold hands before jumping into the lake in the shape of two cannonballs. Soobin, who had been dreading this all throughout the car ride looks as if he's slowly but surely getting rid of all reservation now, sitting by the edge of the platform to test the waters first with his toes. Yeonjun is still in the middle of taking his pants off, and Beomgyu has to physically stop himself from staring at his half-naked body.

That’s a strange development.

"Scared, Choi?" Yeonjun asks him, taunting.

"In your dreams, Lesser Choi," Beomgyu snaps back before making a run for it, whizzing past Soobin's calm figure and tossing himself into the water's embrace. It's incredibly soothing after spending some time under the sun. The water is a little chilly, wrapping Beomgyu's skin like thick, soaked drapery. The sky is a bright blue with blotches of white that don't make any shapes. Everything is bright. Beomgyu has to squint when he looks up at the platform where Yeonjun is poising himself to dive.

The gigantic splash carries into the point where Beomgyu is floating and it sends him a couple of meters back. And sunlight soaks Yeonjun's skin and hair in a glow that makes Beomgyu want to follow him wherever he goes. So he does just that.

Yeonjun swims over to the side, toned arms paddling his body like a canoe. Beomgyu swims after him until they reach a part of the lake no one except mounted rocks and pebbles are privy to.

"Beomgyu-yah," Yeonjun calls out. ”Let's play a game.”

Beomgyu tilts his head, curious but a little skeptical. "What game?"

"Whoever can hold his breath longer underwater, wins."

"What's the prize?"

Yeonjun shrugs, "A date."

"A date?" Beomgyu scoffs. "With who?"

"Me, you, happiness."

Beomgyu's eyes trail Yeonjun's features, every bead of water on his face starting to look like tiny gems. "Why would I want to go on a date with you?" He asks, a bit wary. What he actually means is why would Yeonjun want to go on a date with him? It’s not like he likes him or anything.

"Why wouldn’t you? I’m hot as hell!” 

Beomgyu knows it’s true. He’s never been ashamed to say out loud that Yeonjun is an attractive guy. He would deny it only to be annoying. But he also never thought of it as a criterion to date him. 

How was it never in the realm of possibilities?

Soobin. Soobin was how. 

And it’s _Yeonjun_. It would be weird, wouldn’t it?

“Whatever," Beomgyu says, deciding that Yeonjun is far from serious. The older male had strange ways of cheering him up. 

"So, are we playing? Though I have to warn you, I'm pretty good at holding my breath. Just ask my frat buddies."

Beomgyu makes a face. "I miss a time when I didn't have to think about that."

Yeonjun laughs, all broken and whole at the same time. Beomgyu finds himself swimming in it as much as he does the lake.

"Okay," Yeonjun swims forward, shaking his head so that water sprays in all directions. "On the count of three. One, two, three!"

Beomgyu submerges his head at once, eyes screwed tight as the water gently moves his body to and fro despite his efforts to keep still. He thinks he can only do this so long, bouts of air filling up his lungs, already desperate to go out.

Twenty-nine-

Thirty-

Thirty-one-

That does it. He lets his body float upward and throws his head back upon reaching the surface, all the air he had bottled in flying out to sweet release. He gasps, his shoulders moving up and down excessively.

Yeonjun is not above surface yet, and his first thought is how bummed he is for losing. But Yeonjun has always been more competitive and more skilled. Beomgyu would expect nothing less from him.

Except he realizes Yeonjun isn't anywhere near him. He reaches out and swings his arms in the water in order to get a feel for Yeonjun's figure with no such luck.

"Yeonjun? Yeonjun! Hyung!" Beomgyu yells, his voice cracking. He's trying to be as calm as he can. Trying hard to not let anyone else hear. But with each passing second there's still no Yeonjun, he grows increasingly more anxious, more desperate.

And then, somewhere behind him, he hears the slosh of water and a loud gasp. Yeonjun's pink hair is a shade of salmon when wet like this. Beomgyu swims over to him as fast as he can.

"Yah!" He yells and doesn't hesitate to deliver a smack on Yeonjun's shoulder.

The older male winces. "What the hell was that for?"

"You!" Beomgyu doesn't know just what he's so mad about.

"Are you that mad about losing? Seriously, it's not that big a deal."

Beomgyu doesn't know how it starts but next thing he knows is he's sobbing uncontrollably, chest hot and tightening. Yeonjun’s face collapses and only now seems to register that the water rolling down Beomgyu's face isn't just water.

"You idiot," Beomgyu whines, hitting Yeonjun again.

"Beomgyu? Hey, don't cry. I'm sorry. We can go for another round if you want."

"That's not what I'm upset about!" Beomgyu swats Yeonjun's comforting hand away. "I thought- I thought you-" Beomgyu doesn't even want to elaborate on what he thought had happened. Just thinking about it makes him feel like he's being sucked deeper into the water.

He thinks Yeonjun only now realizes what had transpired. His face falls from confusion to understanding, and then shifts to reassuring. "Did hyung worry you just now? I didn't mean to, Beomgyu-yah. I’m just really good at holding my breath. And really competitive,” he chuckles. "I told you this," he sighs. "But I'm sorry. I won't make you worried again," he reaches over to take Beomgyu's elbows in either of his hands. The touch is comforting, warm, even when the water is cool, it permeates through Beomgyu's skin anyway.

"I, I'm sorry for crying. I was just scared. I don't know what I would do. I wouldn't know what to tell the others if anything bad happened to you," Beomgyu manages to say through his staggered breathing.

Yeonjun strokes his arms soothingly and leans in to hug him. Yeonjun has never hugged him before. For the time they've known each other, they never did much skinship. Not as much as either of them do with Soobin. It takes some adjusting, but without even realizing it, he melts into Yeonjun's arms like goo. He manages to stop the tears for now and thinks maybe later he'll pick up from where he left off once everyone's fast asleep.

"Come on let's go back," Yeonjun suggests. "Think we've both had enough swimming for one day, don't you think so?"

Beomgyu manages a weak laugh as the two of them float over to the wooden platform.

"Done so soon? Lame, we’re playing Marco Polo!" Soobin is the one who asks. Beomgyu, for once, doesn't feel like coming into the water with him.

After the swim, the rest of the day is spent quietly on the road. Neither Yeonjun nor Beomgyu saw fit to bring up the little incident at the lake.

“I know I said one of my most notable skills is being able to fall asleep anywhere, but I’m seriously glad we managed to book a last minute AirBnB. If I have to sleep in that Jeep again, I will make myself pass away.”

“So dramatic,” Soobin pauses from scrutinizing his bajillion selfies to punch Beomgyu on the shoulder. 

“You can’t tell me the whole six foot one of you didn’t struggle sleeping like a ball in the backseat.” 

Soobin shrugs. “It was fine. I was pretty comfortable actually.” 

Yeonjun plops onto the bed next to the one Soobin and Beomgyu are lying on. “Beomgyu stop being a whiner and just admit that the Jeep is glorious!” 

“I will tell no such lies,” Beomgyu says rebelliously. 

Yeonjun groans all of a sudden, clutching at his backside with a grimace. “On Satan my back hurts like a motherfucker.”

“See?” 

“It’s because I’m the only one who drove today. You were actually sound asleep and I didn’t have the heart to wake you up.” 

Soobin has the gall to smirk. Beomgyu feels mildly embarrassed. 

“I can give you a massage hyung. Hyunjin said I’m pretty good at it,” Soobin volunteers gleefully, shuffling over to the other bed and leaving Beomgyu alone. 

“God bless you,” Yeonjun bemoans and lays down on his stomach while Soobin dutifully rubs down on his back. 

The sight oddly incites a strange taste in Beomgyu’s mouth. Scenarios like this weren’t unusual for him, but this sensation is. Truthfully, between witnessing this and sleeping in a Wrangler, Beomgyu thinks he might just take the latter. 

Jealousy? He’s long gotten over being jealous of Yeonjun. Besides the fact that Beomgyu has never earned the right to be jealous, Soobin had made it clear the older boy wasn’t his type and he would be hard pressed not to believe it. He’s lived all his life not being Soobin’s type so he knows exactly how it looks. 

So what is his deal?

Moments Beomgyu had shared recently with Yeonjun flash before his eyes. It’s strange because he wouldn’t have particularly remembered such things under normal circumstances but right now they’re as vivid as they are mortifying inside his head.

“Soobinie is the best,” Yeonjun declares, accompanied by purrs of delight. 

With that, Beomgyu decides this is the perfect time to pay the other two a visit in the next room.

Day 2 Checklist

✓ Hueningkai narrowly escaped Yeonjun’s wrath after an unfortunate body gas related incident. 

✓ Hueningkai forgot to pack the sunscreen. The sun burns were imminent. Taehyun was not pleased.

✓ Yeonjun should not be allowed to facilitate and partake in impromptu underwater competitions.

✓ Breakfast platters were made for dinnertime. 

✓ Beomgyu effectively owes Yeonjun 4 hours driving time.

Where they are: New Mexico, right at the cusp of Oklahoma

Hours spent driving: Approximately 6 hours

Casualties: Everyone’s skin, Soobin’s third pair of Airpods and Beomgyu’s resolve

Day 3: The front seat is the perfect place to realize things and antique museums are just fancy pop-up pages in your travel guide

Beomgyu and Yeonjun are close. If Beomgyu was the type to rank his friendships, Yeonjun would be just a few spaces below Soobin in the hierarchy. Which is saying a lot because his friendship with Soobin was founded lightyears ahead. That’s just how much he clicks with Yeonjun. He’s the best friend after the best friend. 

Beomgyu is suddenly hyper aware of every little thing Yeonjun does. He even started to recall things that have happened way before this godforsaken trip. 

One time Yeonjun let him borrow his jacket and never asked for it back. 

Another time, he only ate one mozzarella puff and gave the rest of it to Beomgyu claiming he didn’t like them that much. Except Beomgyu had caught him wolfing a whole box down on his own a few times and didn’t think to ask about why he lied. 

It’s kind of scary to think about. 

But in a good way?

It's stupid, because it's _Yeonjun_ . But Beomgyu doesn’t think he has ever really seen him in _that_ light. Not even a glimpse. He was always just there, every time Beomgyu's eyes focused on a certain dark-haired six foot figure, Yeonjun was always just looming in the background. Now he's shifted much closer, much clearer than Beomgyu has ever looked at him. 

Beomgyu wakes up with a slight headache. He squints at the digital clock etched under the stereo controls of the Jeep and sees that it's almost 3 o'clock in the morning. Beside him on the passenger's seat is Yeonjun engulfed by the luminescent glow of his phone. He tries to go back to sleep, but he's suddenly made very aware of the pain on his lower back. He probably makes a sound of discomfort because Yeonjun turns to face him.

"Sorry, is my phone too bright?" He whispers, lowering his screen onto his flat stomach. "I couldn't sleep."

"I can see that," Beomgyu mumbles. "And no it's just, my back hurts like hell," he whispers back, repositioning himself with much difficulty. His elbow hits the steering wheel at least two times. "Damn it," he hisses. He feels his weariness slowly disappear, like spilt ramen on the sink.

Yeonjun shifts to his side and leans over Beomgyu all of a sudden, an arm reaching over to Beomgyu's left while his free hand rests on the headrest. He fiddles with something, a lever, and pulls at it to recline Beomgyu's chair a little bit, enough to make space but not so much that it pushes against Taehyun's knees in the backseat. 

Beomgyu hadn't realized he was holding his breath until Yeonjun had leaned back and gave him a little thumbs up. "Thanks," he mutters weakly. He could have done it himself, really, if only he'd thought of it first. Suddenly it's warm so he goes ahead and cracks the window open a little further.

Faint snores are coming from the back. Kai is leaning against Soobin's shoulder with his dolphin stuffed animal between his chest and arms. He looks so peaceful, the complete opposite of his wake state. They had managed to turn the back seats into fully reclined makeshift beds. Soobin had volunteered to switch places with Beomgyu so he could rest well after driving for hours, but Beomgyu had insisted Soobin take the spot instead. His legs were much longer and he was better at being Kai's body pillow.

"Such little angels, aren't they?" Yeonjun comments softly. He's being sarcastic, but Beomgyu thinks he actually means it. He feels the same way. He's so thankful their other friends decided to join this trip. If it weren't for them, he'd be stuck alone with Soobin and his thoughts. It wouldn't be the first time that happened, but it would be different. Harder. 

"Do you remember when we first met? When I saw you dance at that org in front of all us freshmen and I came up to you to ask you to personally help me?" Beomgyu softly brings up. 

"Do I remember?" Yeonjun snickers. "You made sure I never forgot. You chased me while I was heading out of the auditorium and practically tackled me when I couldn't hear you over my airpods."

Beomgyu remembers that moment with such clarity, like playing a clip from his camera roll. The first time he'd seen Yeonjun dance, he was positively mesmerized. He'd never seen anyone move with such musicality and fluidity. He was effortless and yet it was clear he worked the hardest. His body was toned, his feet trained arduously. Beomgyu wanted to be like him despite having only danced at the back of his group at his old high school whenever there was a school festival. So he decided he had to be his friend.

After that, getting to know Yeonjun had been easy. He was easy to coax with compliments and kind words. Until they were both comfortable enough that Beomgyu could make fun of him without a care. 

Sometimes he thinks Yeonjun argues just for the sake of it, just so Beomgyu can meet him in the middle, crash into him in a blunt force until they’re either laughing or fighting. It didn’t matter either way though, because Beomgyu’s chest always seemed so full whenever he had Yeonjun’s attention. 

They chat for a little while, Beomgyu's tiredness having melted away completely. Him and Yeonjun start sharing anecdotes, presumably separate events in their college lives that little by little they realize were mostly intertwined, and that Yeonjun may have been involved in Beomgyu's life far more prominently than he remembers despite the two of them having known each other only a couple of years.

They laugh, trying their best to do it without making any sound, only it makes them want to laugh even harder. It takes Beomgyu a moment to compose himself. Yeonjun quiets down too, head leaning against the shoulder rest of his seat. His face is practically glowing, the moonlight refracting on him at just the right angle. His features have become so gentle that Beomgyu fears he's going to disappear any moment. 

Suddenly it's quiet save for the unobtrusive sounds of the other three breathing behind them and buzzing insects from the outside. There's something nagging at the back of Beomgyu’s head, a desire to do something that could be described as rash, possibly even inappropriate. His eyes trace the way Yeonjun wets his lips, luscious and unbelievably pink even in the considerably dim natural lighting. Beomgyu swallows a lump in his throat. His thoughts are all tangled up. Yeonjun is too pretty to be real.

He must be going insane. 

He starts to lean in very slowly and doesn’t miss the way Yeonjun shifts in his seat and tries to meet him halfway. 

They’re just about to completely close the gap between them when the sound of leather against skin pierces through the silence and everything in between. Beomgyu flinches, panics, and hastily leans back. Yeonjun does the exact same, and Beomgyu berates himself for even considering doing the thing he wanted to do.

It's Soobin who sat up behind them, rubbing his eyes like a groggy six-foot child and murmuring something unintelligible. 

Yeonjun twists his torso to clearly look at Soobin and asks. "Everything okay, Soobinie?" He says with such care, different from how Beomgyu would have asked, but definitely the same gravity of concern.

"I have to take a piss," Soobin says.

Before Yeonjun can say anything, Beomgyu, quite possibly beet red in the face, quickly interjects. "I'll go with you," he says.

He avoids Yeonjun's gaze completely as he nurses himself back to neutrality. It's a good thing he's well-versed in the art of masking his emotions. Years of unrequited love has taught him this very valuable skill.

After Soobin and him finish their business at the nearby porta-potties, Soobin asks if they can hang out for a bit since he'd lost his sleep. Beomgyu agrees, admitting to himself that he needs time to clear his head before coming back to the Jeep to face Yeonjun.

They sit down on a patch of grass under a tree, only around twenty feet from the water. The stream is calm, the sky a dark hue of blue spilt on a blank canvas. The half moon is floating in the river, just like the unsettling feeling in the pit of Beomgyu's stomach.

Soobin is sitting close to him, their elbows and knees touching. There's a very sudden, overcoming surge of emotions that embrace him. They're not even any closer than they usually would be, but Beomgyu is finding it extremely difficult to contain himself. It’s years of pent up emotions forming a tumultuous storm inside him. 

Beomgyu looks ahead at the river and breathes a heavy sigh before speaking gently. "I remember the times when I would look at you and I'd just have this intense urge to break down and cry," he says, unable to help himself. "I loved you so much, it hurt. Every day I had to be just your best friend. And it hurt even more because I knew you felt it, and you still couldn't do anything. Every day I wondered why it never occured to you to love me back.”

“Beomgyu…”

He turns to face Soobin longingly, eyes trained on Soobin's curled lips. 

“Soobin,” he mutters shakily, desperately, uncaringly. Without thinking of it much, or at all, he leans in and presses his lips against Soobin’s, manifesting all those times he'd imagined how it would feel. It feels like everything quickly becoming nothing. His heart is thrumming in his ears, so loud he can hardly hear himself think, or scream. Soobin isn't reciprocating the kiss, but he isn't pulling away either. Beomgyu wants to cry. Whatever it was he wanted, it wasn’t this. 

He leans back and buries his head in his arms.

"I'm sorry," he grumbles, feeling shameful. 

"Don't apologize, idiot," Soobin sighs. His post-slumber voice is hoarse yet comforting. He doesn't sound angry. Beomgyu is the angry one he supposes. He'd stopped himself from doing that for over a decade but he chose now to do it. He _is_ an idiot. “Honestly Gyu if there’s one thing you should be apologizing for, it’s the fact that I'm not even the person you want to kiss right now.”

Beomgyu looks at Soobin questioningly. 

“You know what I mean. And besides. I really should be the one to apologize,” Soobin smiles sadly. "I tried, Gyu." 

He sniffs. "Hey, it's not your fault. I don't blame you, okay? I could never blame you," he offers a reassuring smile although he feels a hot sting clambering out of his eyes. "We couldn't help who we loved, or didn’t love. You gave me your friendship in return, and it's the best thing I could have gotten.”

"I hope I never made you feel unlovable. Because you're far from that. I really wished I could return all that love to you because you deserve just as much, if not more." Soobin looks at him, thoughtful and caring. "Does it still hurt? Even now?" he asks when Beomgyu doesn't say anything.

“I’ve just been so used to it I guess,” Beomgyu laughs sardonically. “Like being in love with you was a huge part of who I was and what I had to be. I ended up learning the pain instead of feeling it. I learned the pain so earnestly that it stuck and I couldn’t recognize the difference anymore,” Beomgyu pauses to think, images of Yeonjun suddenly entering his mind. He thinks of all the cigarette breaks and the antics, all the lingering touches and the inside jokes. Perhaps he’s realizing it a little late, but Yeonjun is hugely part of why the pain—the real, untrained pain—has long subsided.

Yeonjun did the little things, but he did so much more that Beomgyu might have failed to take into account until now. Yeonjun had been the one to take Beomgyu under his wing whenever Soobin had dates. Yeonjun would be the one to make him forget about an atrocious one night stand and salvage him from a number of walks of shame. Yeonjun would pick him up anywhere and spend the entire day doing everything and nothing with him. Yeonjun was always _there._

In a small amount of time Yeonjun became his best friend too— without all the longing and the what ifs. 

"I guess a part of me will always be regretful that I never had a chance with you," he offers a pained smile. "But that doesn't change the fact that you're my best friend, and I love you. I will always care about you."

Soobin smiles, the picture of relief. "I’m glad. I've been worried about you. Since I started to notice it, I've been the tiniest bit careful. And I hated being careful around you, Gyu. You're my person. You've been doing your best for me all these years. I wish I'd done you better."

"How could you have?" Beomgyu chuckles. "You couldn't love me back that way, and I wouldn't want you to force yourself to. Plus the few times you tried to set me up on dates were all disasters."

"Hey!" Soobin grins, playfully hitting his arm. "Jisung wasn't that bad."

"He was clearly into someone else. He was texting with someone the entire time and he was going all googly eyes on his phone."

They laugh heartily for a minute and settle back down into a much lighter silence. 

“Hyung. The kiss. I wasn'-"

"What kiss?" Soobin smiles innocently. Beomgyu gratefully returns it. 

After a few beats, Beomgyu can't help but speak again. "I’m sorry about Hyunjin. I know he broke up with you because of me.” That’s right, the stupid reason from before is in fact Beomgyu. 

Soobin scrunches his nose. “It’s not your fault. Hyunjin just needs a little more reassurance and I failed to give him that.” Beomgyu stays quiet. “I’m still a little rough on the relationship management side of things, but I love well because you loved me well, and for that I’m forever indebted to you, Gyu.”

The words tug at Beomgyu’s heartstrings, unleashing a bittersweet taste in his mouth. He cracks a smile. “Yeah, you owe me big time.”

Soobin beams back and nudges his shoulder. "So why don't you let me set you up again one last time?"

Beomgyu offers a suspicious glare. "Are you kidding?"

"Dead serious. It’s the person you’ve wanted to kiss all this time,” Soobin says matter-of-factly before mouthing ‘Yeonjun-hyung’. 

The mention of Yeonjun’s name has Beomgyu slightly choking up, his heart suddenly beating a mile a minute. It’s a foreign thing to feel about someone that wasn’t Soobin. And he loves it.

“You know what? I think you’re onto something”

It’s safe to say that being in a car, driving for hours on end has taken its toll on everyone. Hueningkai hasn’t spoken since they left the riverside camping spot. Normally he would be trying to get everyone engaged in a game or a random discussion. Taehyun looks like he’s already watched every TikTok in existence and has officially zoned out and Soobin has become ten times more fidgety. 

Yeonjun hasn’t as much as looked at him properly since that little almost-kiss incident. Beomgyu gets it. He wouldn’t know how to start that conversation either. But he wishes Yeonjun would just _look_ at him. 

“Gas,” says Yeonjun sternly, effectively squashing Beomgyu’s thoughts.

“What?” He asks dumbly. 

“We’re almost out of gas,” Yeonjun tells him, surprisingly calm given the actual gravity of the situation. They’re on a freeway, miles away from the next gas stop. 

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Fuck. Beomgyu had been too caught up in his brain that he hadn’t monitored the gas. 

“It’s okay, we’ll still make it, just don’t forget to check next time.”

Beomgyu swallows. Yeonjun doesn’t even sound upset, but Beomgyu feels like he’d failed terribly at something. The fact that the first thing he hears out of Yeonjun’s mouth is ‘gas’ just does not sit well at all. 

They reach the gas station just in time. It’s small and has only one working gas pump. The staff looks like they live here and the store looks dated and rough, almost like a wave of zombies had passed it by. Beomgyu shivers. 

“This place looks a little shady, doesn’t it?” Whispers Soobin as they get off the Jeep. 

“It’s creepy,” Kai mutters. Taehyun doesn’t say anything, but he visibly tightens his hold on Kai’s arm. 

“Let’s just get gas and get out of here fast,” Yeonjun says, clearly trying to sound brave. Beomgyu almost smiles despite the situation. 

As it turns out, one of the staff is really nice and points them to an antique museum just down the road that happens to be very popular with tourists. Apparently there’s also a bunch of little souvenir and thrift shops nearby too, which has Yeonjun’s ears perking up excitedly. If there was anything the pink-haired man loved more than anything, it was shopping in secondhand stores. No one is surprised when he declares it his chosen stop. 

Everyone’s moods have considerably brightened since arriving at this little suburban nook just outside Oklahoma. There’s not that many people, but the ones that are around are definitely tourists. 

Beomgyu has decided he’s going to talk to Yeonjun as soon as he gets him alone. It doesn’t take long because Soobin, bless him, shepherds Taehyun and Kai into one of the souvenir shops while Beomgyu follows Yeonjun to the thrift store. 

“Hey Yeonjun-”

“How do I look?” Asks Yeonjun, sporting a dark brown cowboy hat with gold stitches. 

Beomgyu gives him a once over and lets out a chuckle. “You look ridiculous,” 

“-ly attractive? Thanks, pard-ner,” he clicks his tongue and tips his hat. Beomgyu inwardly curses because it’s true. 

Yeonjun laughs at himself and puts the hat back on the rack. He surveys the store while Beomgyu trails behind him, carefully contemplating what to say. The strong musty smell of old clothes is making it especially hard to think clearly. 

Ten minutes, fiteen, half an hour has passed and Beomgyu still hasn’t brought it up. He’s starting to feel antsy, and frankly, a little itchy. Yeonjun seems to be enjoying himself, having tried on five different jackets and two band T-shirts. In the end, he leaves the shop with two jackets and one of the T-shirts while Beomgyu leaves—in more ways than one—empty handed. 

“Wanna check out the museum?” Asks Yeonjun after they’ve thrown his mini shopping haul into the Jeep. 

The museum is pretty much a knock-off version of the famous miniature museum in Kansas City, but Beomgyu finds the presentation commendable anyway. They’re practically the only ones inside, save for that one couple that was also in the thrift shop with them just ten minutes ago. Beomgyu briefly catches sight of them kissing in one of the darker corners of the museum and feels his face warm up. Yeonjun thankfully didn’t seem to notice the flagrant display. 

“Beomgyu-yah,” Yeonjun calls out. “Are you okay? You seem a little out of it,” he shuffles closer and presses the back of his hand against Beomgyu’s forehead. 

“I’m fine,” Beomgyu pushes his hand away and clears his throat. “But I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something.”

Yeonjun nods slowly and turns to face the diorama of Springfield. “Yeah, I figured you were going to want to talk about it.”

Beomgyu is confused. “Wait, what?”

“God, I’m so stupid,” he faces Beomgyu, concern marring his features. “Listen, I’m sorry about this morning. I almost tried to do something that was probably way uncalled for. I wasn’t thinking,” Yeonjun appears like he’s talking to himself more than anyone, and Beomgyu doesn’t know whether to laugh or punch him. 

He does both. He laughs and delivers a playful punch to Yeonjun’s arm. “You’re such a dumbass,” he says. 

“Come again?” 

“What do you mean, _uncalled for_? I was literally leaning in to kiss you first,” argues Beomgyu.

“What? No you weren’t- wait, were you? I didn’t even realize. I just really wanted to—” Yeonjun pauses, and then his face gradually breaks into the biggest smile Beomgyu has ever seen, so bright he can’t help but reflect it.

“I’m sorry for realizing things so late,” Beomgyu says. “You were always there for me, weren’t you? Always taking care of me. I’m sorry for only seeing it now, but thank you.” He gets brave and looks Yeonjun straight in the eyes while reaching for his hand. 

“I know you don’t need anyone taking care of you but I like doing it.”

“I like when you do it.” 

Yeonjun sucks in a breath and squeezes his eyes shut comically, looking like he’s seconds away from a complete mental breakdown. Beomgyu feels the exact same way, except he might just be a tad better at composing himself. 

“You’re unbelievable. I can’t believe this is happening, really. I’ve always known you were into Soobin so I didn’t seriously try to ask you out or anything. And you know,” he chuckles meekly. “You know I’m not exactly the type to wait around to get what I want. But with you, it's different. I wanted to respect your feelings and wait. I could wait forever for you, you know that?"

He’s known Yeonjun for about three years. The guy was always dating and sleeping around, complaining about being single but never actually committing to a relationship. Beomgyu always thought it was a commitment thing, just something most young people dwell on nowadays. He never imagined he could be the reason behind it.

"Yeonjun, I didn't," Beomgyu stutters.

"Maybe you've been waiting for someone else to look at you all these years, but sometimes, and I know it sounds cheesy and stupid and borderline creepy, but sometimes it's enough for me just to be able to watch and see how you love up close. Like I couldn't possibly ask for anything more remarkable. If you could love so selflessly then I thought maybe I could too, for once."

Beomgyu feels at a loss. It's like nothing he could string together could carry the weight of how he feels. Yeonjun's words feel like flowers being thrown at him. 

"I can’t lie. There was also a part of me that was afraid of being rejected. Which, you also know, is not something I’m used to,” Yeonjun continues with a chuckle. "I never really worried about rejection before you came along. It's kind of fucked up, but in a good way. You put me in my place without you even knowing it."

Beomgyu barely manages to stop himself from scoffing—a force of habit whenever Yeonjun says anything even remotely egotistical. But he believes him. He's seen Yeonjun in action enough times to validate this claim. So the thought of being the exception makes him feel inexplicably tingly. "I don't know what to say." 

“I’m so sorry you wanted Soobin and you’re getting me instead,” Yeonjun prattles on. He’s weirdly endearing like this, stripped of faux confidence and uncharacteristically self-deprecating. It makes Beomgyu want to take care of him back. 

He softens and squeezes Yeonjun’s hands. “No! I want you, Yeonjunie-hyung. And it’s not because I can’t be with Soobin. I like you. I like spending time with you. I like annoying you. I like the way you eat for three people and I like the way you walk. I like your clothes and your face. Heck, I even like your car.” 

“Honestly, what’s not to like about the Jeep?” Yeonjun chuckles and leans forward, resting his forehead on Beomgyu’s shoulder. The way he breathes Beomgyu in like he’s the first day of spring is weakening for the knees. “God, Beomgyu. I feel so—I like you too. So much. It’s insane. No. I think I’m in love with you, actually.” 

The words don’t come as a surprise to Beomgyu, but it doesn’t make hearing them feel any less like flying. 

“Then kiss me before I break one of these glass casings,” Beomgyu demands, tugging at the sleeves of Yeonjun’s shirt. He’s not one for public displays of affection, but right now he finds he doesn’t care. That other couple didn’t care. 

Yeonjun plants a tentative kiss on the curve of Beomgyu’s shoulder first, and then pecks the side of his neck before finally meeting his lips. Beomgyu’s initial thought is how dry Yeonjun’s lips feel against his, but it’s quickly replaced by the overwhelming emotions hailing from his chest, coming up to the tip of his tongue. Kissing Yeonjun tastes like the mint he pops into his mouth in lieu of a cigarette, and feels like coming up for air.

Yeonjun’s hands eventually find refuge on Beomgyu’s waist. His shirt rides up just enough that he feels a finger graze his hip bone delicately. It’s the barest of touch and yet the warmth it brings is enough to elicit a moan from his lips. He almost lets himself get carried away by the expert way Yeonjun explores his mouth, but he regrettably remembers this dimly lit, antique-smelling museum isn’t exactly the ideal place for a cinematic ending kiss—or the first thirty seconds of an amateur porno.

Why couldn’t he have talked to Yeonjun at a place that’s more private? Like a motel or something. Or the back of a Jeep.

“You know, I still technically won our little contest at the lake. You owe me a date,” Yeonjun mutters once they pull away.

“And you owe me a therapy session because that was traumatizing,” Beomgyu throws him a punch. 

“Gross, get a room,” says Taehyun’s familiar voice. His beaming face however, tells a different story. Kai’s mouth is hanging open at the sight of them.

“Sorry, I tried to stop them from coming in. The museum _is_ open for everyone, sadly,” says Soobin. 

“You _knew_ about this?” Kai gasps, shaking Soobin by the shoulders. 

“Hueningie, everyone knew,” says Taehyun. “The woman selling hotdogs outside probably knew.”

Beomgyu gawks at them. “Wait, how did you know? _I_ didn’t even know.” 

“Please, you guys are always together, always arguing and teasing each other. There’s always so much tension between you two. You don’t even have to be a physics major to see it,” Taehyun informs them as if they’re the dumbest pair to grace the earth. Classic Taehyun. “Also? Beomgyu-hyung is the only person who ever willingly hangs out with Smokey McSmokerson over here. Very clear indication.” 

“Hey he smoked for like two months and he quit. Give him a break.” _He looked so sexy doing it too,_ Beomgyu opted not to say. Yeonjun looks like he’s trying not to smile too wide. 

“Woah. See you’re already defending him!” Taehyun snickers. 

“Does this mean you guys are boyfriends now?” Kai asks, looking at Beomgyu and then Yeonjun questioningly. 

Beomgyu’s heart tumbles in his chest upon hearing the word. It sounds almost alien to him in this context, which is both tragic and enlightening. He’s had relationships in the past—all short lived and essentially lacked potential. Because no one was ever up to par with Soobin.

Yeonjun on the other hand though, is in a league of his own. Beomgyu feels like he’s new, yet he’s diving into something with someone he’s known all his life. 

“Yeah,” Beomgyu replies confidently, reaching for Yeonjun’s hand and giving him the cheekiest smile.

Yeonjun casts a palm over his face again, smiling uncontrollably. “Oh god, you’re killing me. Choi Beomgyu, you—”

“Dude looks like he’s about to cry,” Taehyun points out. 

Soobin and Kai are clinging to each other, smiling like they’ve got clothes hangers stuck inside their mouths. 

“Who said road trips were boring?”

Day 3 Checklist

✓ River talks > pillow talks

✓ Creepy looking gasoline stations are just that: creepy looking. Sometimes they have friendly crews who give amazing recommendations (come to your local decrepit gas station, today!).

✓ Was that the second to the last leg of the trip or the last act of a romantic comedy?

✓ Driving became a little less torture and a little more like riding into the sunset (one hand feel on the steering wheel, the other on Yeonjun’s heart. Taylor Swift’s words)

Where they are: Missouri? 

Hours spent driving: 7 hours

Casualties: Teenage fixations and the mixed-berry snow cone Soobin dropped in the dirt

Day 4: Final destinations are more like beginnings rather than ends

Beomgyu deeply regrets not taking that lip-reading elective back in his freshman year. 

There’s no clear indication that the conversation is going well. On the contrary, it looks a little rough. Hyunjin’s expression looks despondent from where Beomgyu is sitting in the car, and Soobin looks like he’s seconds away from bolting. 

“He’s buckling. Is he buckling?” Asks Yeonjun.

“I hope not. We’d have come all the way here for nothing,” says Beomgyu sadly. 

“Not nothing,” Yeonjun nudges his arm. Beomgyu feels himself start to get flustered again.

“Yeah but, you know what I mean,” Beomgyu waves a hand dismissively. Yeonjun chortles and kisses him lightly on the lips, probably just because he can. Beomgyu isn’t complaining. 

“Look he’s coming back,” points Yeonjun. Soobin is walking down the front porch with shoulders hunched and hands in his hoodie. It’s not a good sign.

"He said he has to think about it. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do," Soobin tells them as soon as he gets back into the Jeep. 

Beomgyu feels his heart pang at the sight of Soobin looking so defeated. He feels responsible, because he _knows_ why Hyunjin is so reluctant to take Soobin back. And it’s something he thinks only he can amend. 

He glances over at Yeonjun, who seems to understand without him having to say anything. Goodness he’s a keeper alright.

"I'll talk to him," says Beomgyu. Soobin looks surprised.

"You don't have to do that Beomgyu-ah."

"I want to, and I think I need to."

Soobin is extremely hesitant to let him talk to Hyunjin, insisting that it’s not his problem to fix. But Beomgyu argues he knows where Hyunjin is coming from, and that he might be the best chance Soobin has at getting his boyfriend back. After that, Soobin finally agrees.

It takes a bit of a breathing exercise and a lot of encouraging kisses from Yeonjun before he gathers the courage to walk up to the front porch and ring the bell to Hyunjin's house. When Hyunjin opens the door, he almost looks like he's about to turn him away, but then he probably gets caught off guard by the fact that it's Beomgyu standing in front of him.

"Hey, Hyunjin-hyung, I'm sorry, can I call you that?"

Hyunjin lets out a resigned smile. "Yeah of course," he takes a step forward and closes the door behind him. "Sorry let's talk here."

Beomgyu nods, feeling more than a tad nervous about what he's going to do, but Hyunjin is making it surprisingly easy. Perhaps this was something he'd been waiting for.

"Hey, I’m just going to get straight to it. Soobin-hyung really loves you. He never shuts up about you."

Hyunjin tucks his long blonde tresses behind his ears. "I know. I mean, it's just- when I see the two of you, I get crazy jealous. He talks very fondly of you and the-"

"-history. I get it," Beomgyu says. 

“And I’ve seen how you look at him. I don’t blame you. He’s Soobin. He makes it so easy to love him,” says Hyunjin with a hint of sadness. 

“How I looked at him doesn’t matter. What matters is how he looks at _you_ doesn’t it? He looks at you like he’s in love. He looks at me like I’m his best friend.”

“Doesn’t that hurt? I don’t understand. Why did you come here? Why didn’t you just go for him when I left?” 

“Soobin has known me for almost two decades. He could have wanted me all those times but he didn’t. He always loved someone else. I can’t be with someone who’s had so many chances to love me back and yet never did.” 

Hyunjin heaves a sigh. “Beomgyu, I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t feel too sorry for me. He makes up for it tenfold with his friendship. And that’s something I’ll never ever risk. That’s why I’m here. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to worry about me or anyone. Soobin loves who he loves and that’s you.”

Hyunjin looks like he's contemplating Beomgyu's words deeply. “I’m actually really overwhelmed by the fact that he came all the way here. It’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me. Even though I know it was your idea.”

“That Soobin. See that’s how you know he’s genuine. He could have lied and said it was totally his idea but he didn’t,” Beomgyu says patronizingly. 

“That _is_ true.”

Beomgyu sighs. "So please, will you take him back? I don't think I can handle any more of his sad noir films and poems of heartbreak. I should tell you, his plants have absorbed all his negative energy and are mostly dead. You not getting back together with him is literally a crime against nature."

Hyunjin cracks a smile at that and eventually agrees to walk with him to the Jeep. 

“Wow, are you magic or something?” Yeonjun whispers as soon as Beomgyu settles beside him. Hyunjin and Soobin are sharing a tight embrace by the front door. 

“Gee, I guess I am. You’re so lucky to be dating me,” Beomgyu bumps his head against Yeonjun’s. 

“Fuck. I so am. You’re honestly the most beautiful thing I know,” Yeonjun’s arm firmly wraps around his small waist, pulling him close. The smell of his perfume mixed with dried sweat is dizzying. Beomgyu decides that it’s him who’s made of magic. 

“I love you,” Beomgyu breathes out so easily. It’s as if the words were always there, just waiting to be said. 

Yeonjun looks taken aback, his face completely unreadable. “Wait. You-. You’re not just saying that, are you? I know I said I was in love with you, and I am. I’m crazy in love with you, but I’m willing to wait until you’re crazy in love with me too.” 

Beomgyu shakes his head. “I’m not just saying it. I know it sounds like it’s too soon. When I loved Soobin, the only feeling synonymous to it was the pain that came along. But ever since I met you, without even noticing, all that hurt slowly disappeared and turned into something I can’t even begin to describe. It’s you, hyung. I love you.” 

Yeonjun doesn’t even say anything and just roughly pulls him in for a kiss. It’s ten times more passionate than the first one they shared and it’s everything Beomgyu’s ever wanted. 

“This is our life now, Hueningkai,” says Taehyun morosely upon returning from the playground down the street. They had once again witnessed Beomgyu and Yeonjun locking lips. It probably didn’t help that Hyunjin and Soobin haven't let go of each other either. 

“I say, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” says Kai and starts to _jokingly_ aim for Taehyun’s mouth. 

“Hey, you never picked a stop didn’t you?” Yeonjun asks Beomgyu later. 

Beomgyu reaches for Yeonjun’s hand and threads their fingers together. His chest is bubbling with giddiness and affection and it’s making him want to say the stupidest, most smitten things. So he does just that. 

“Why would I want a stop? I want to go all the way with you.”

And he means it. Beomgyu has only ever driven roads that all led to the same heartbreak until Yeonjun sat shotgun. Now so many new and unexplored paths have opened up and Beomgyu wants nothing but to drive down all of them with Yeonjun by his side.

(“Leave the jokes and the cheesy lines to me,” says Yeonjun, very obviously trying not to smile.)

Day 4 Checklist

✓ Taehyun’s initial concern was valid, but everything worked out in the end. 

✓ Soobin and Hyunjin got back together, as intended, and no one knows what to do next.

✓ They decided to stay in Chicago for a couple more days. No one has to sleep in the Jeep until then, much to the relief of everyone’s spinal chords. 

✓ Despite its success, the group decided to never again go on a cross-country roadtrip.

✓ Beomgyu picked Yeonjun as his stop.

Where they are: Chicago (yay!)

Time spent driving: 7 something hours

Casualties: None so far

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for taking the time to read! comments are highly appreciated <3  
> p.s i am absolutely humiliated by soobin saying [this](https://twitter.com/translatingTXT/status/1361610332330942465) about the grand canyon right after i wrote and submitted this . no words.
> 
> edit: now that reveals are over, feel free to hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/tapiocapeol) or [curiouscat](https://https://curiouscat.qa/yeonjwun)


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